


Derek Bit my Finger

by AlecMcDowell



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-30
Updated: 2012-11-30
Packaged: 2017-11-19 21:27:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/577832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlecMcDowell/pseuds/AlecMcDowell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Derek was a big baby and one time he was a total bad ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Derek Bit my Finger

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Captain_Loki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Loki/gifts).



> For my wolfy, because he is my favorite.

1.  
“Stiles! Kill it! Please please please please kill it!” The alpha werewolf was standing on top of his boyfriend’s computer chair, bare feet dancing back and forth as he tried to escape the horror he’d seen on the floor. 

“Derek, are you kidding me? It’s just a spider!” Stiles looked at him incredulously. “You nearly gave me a heart attack here, I thought there was like a dementor in my room!”

“Dementors aren’t even real, idiot! Stop joking, and kill that black widow before it bites me,” he ordered in his alpha voice.

Stiles just rolled his eyes. “It’s not a black widow it’s a daddy long leg! They can’t bite humans and aren’t even poisonous anyways.”

“Liar! It’s a black widow and it’s incredibly poisonous, kill it now!”

“Ugh, fine, let me get a tissue,” the boy grumbled as he went about defeating the deadly creature. “I’m not ever going to let you live this down again, you know.” 

Derek’s glare on his back was as hot as the summer he’d spent in Phoenix. “You will if you ever want to have sex again, Stilinksi.” The alpha barked, cool and in charge again. 

Stiles just smirked. “Oh, please, Derek- you’re the one begging for it more times than not. It’s like you’re the 18 year old in this relationship!”

His boyfriend could only think of one way to respond: he tackled Stiles to the bed and kissed him into compliance. 

2.  
“I refuse to eat this, Stiles, I don’t care what you say. It’s disgusting. I think I’m going to throw up just smelling it.”

“Oh my god, Derek, it’s broccoli, not freaking liver. Just shut up and eat it.”

The face the werewolf shot at Stiles was the bichiest bitch face the teenager had ever seen. “If this was liver I would eat it; I would eat it all up. I love liver. It’s broccoli I have a problem with.” 

“You will eat that broccoli right now, Derek Matthew Hale or you will not be leaving this table.” Stiles shook his finger in rage. 

The two grown men glared at each other, each unwilling to back down. Finally Derek let out an angry sigh and stabbed his fork into the vegetable on his plate. 

3.  
“Oh, yuck, come on cross the street, quick,” Derek hissed as he grabbed Stiles by the wrist and hurried them away to stop in front of the McDonald’s. The werewolf turned his head towards the restaurant and breathed in deep before snorting the air back out and shaking his head with a disgusted look on his face.

“What the hell was that, Derek?” Stiles scowled at the older man. “If you hate the smell of Big Macs why did you drag us over here?”

His boyfriend shot a glare back across the street and Stiles looked. There was nothing strange that the teenager could see- just old Mr. Petersburg walking his wife’s Yorkie like he did every day at 3. “Is it the dog? I’ve never seen you avoid one like this before!”

“No,” Derek let out an honest to god snarl. “I have no problem with dogs. It’s the owner.”

Stiles raised an eyebrow in a move he’d copied from Derek. “Do you have a thing against the elderly?”

“I don’t have a thing against the elder- it’s the smell of them!” Derek blurted out. “They all smell like mothballs, do you know awful that smell is to somebody who can smell what you ate for breakfast yesterday? I’ll tell you, it’s the worst!” 

The werewolf huffed and spun around, still gripping Stiles’ wrist as he led them down the street. 

4.  
“Derek, dude, you need to shower before you get in this bed, you smell like dirt.”

The werewolf snorted at the human. “What’s wrong with dirt? It’s a clean, natural smell. I think I smell just fine.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t. It doesn’t smell ‘natural’ to me, it just smells dirty and you aren’t tracking half the forest onto the sheets anyways.”

“Stiles,” Derek whined. “I just want to sleep.”

“And you can- as soon as you shower!” Stiles held firm against the pouting man in front of him. “Look, Derek, how about I shower with you?”

Derek stopped pouting to consider. “Shower sex?”

Stiles sighed as he got out of bed. “Sure thing, big guy, shower sex. As soon as you’re clean.”

5.  
“Wow, Derek- I was gone for the summer and you decide to let yourself go, really?” He looked judgmentally at the werewolf’s hair- it was without a doubt a mullet. “If you take off your shirt and I see that you’ve let your abs turn to fluff then there will be no sex until they return, I’m warning you now.”

Derek snorted at him in return. “Good to know our relationship is based on more than just physical appeal.”

“Shut up, of course it is. If it weren’t I would threaten to leave you, not just withhold sex. We’ll have plenty of nice conversations in the meantime- plenty of fully clothed conversations.”

Derek gave him an honest smile at the reply. He scoffed whenever Stiles told him how hot he was, but ate it up every time the compliments were about his personality or thing he’d done for his pack. The werewolf walked over and gave Stiles a gentle kiss, but the human didn’t let him deepen it. “Save that for later,” he told him with a pat on Derek’s chest. “Right now we’re going to get you a haircut in town.” 

The words had barely left his mouth before the alpha jumped back and sprinted out the back of his house, kicking up the papers left on the table in his wake. Stiles could do nothing but gape at the empty spot his boyfriend had just occupied when Peter wandered lazily into the house. The zombie wolf stopped in front of Stiles and crossed his arms. “Would you like to know where you went wrong just now, Stiles?”

He really didn’t want to hear from Derek’s uncle, but, the only other option was hunting down his boyfriend in the forest and in the end impatience won out. “OK, Peter- why did Derek run out like he was being chased by a demon?”

Peter smirked back. “Derek, the big bad alpha that he is- hates haircuts. Ever since he was a baby he’s gone to great lengths to avoid them. He was getting a little messy when I came back, if you remember- I had to shame him into getting it cut. I would’ve hoped he’d stay groomed for his boyfriend, but, with you gone he fell back on old habits…”

Stiles pinched his nose. Seriously, when he and Derek had started dating he’d expected tons of fights and emotional constipation. He didn’t think he’d be acting like the alphas father! 

+1  
Derek crept slowly through his boyfriend’s window. He didn’t do this often, and never when the Sheriff was at home, but he had to see Stiles and couldn’t wait. Unfortunately, he tripped over a pair of shoes left beneath the window and landed on the end of Stiles’ desk with a big oomph. Stiles shot up from his bed, blurting out a “Wass goin’ on” as he tried to wake up.

Before Derek could answer the door burst open, and a severely sleep deprived Sheriff launched himself into the bedroom. Faster than a half-asleep 40 year old should have been able to react, the elder Stilinksi bellowed out “INTRUDER ALERT!” followed by a the loudest bang Derek had ever heard and a sharp pain in his stomach.

Light flooded the room, leaving Derek and the Sheriff both blinking in shock at the growing bloodstain in the werewolf’s tee shirt. From the bed, Stiles pulled his hand away from the lamp andmade a noise like that of an angry deer and threw the sheets off his legs. “Dad! Did you just shoot my boyfriend!” Warm hands pulled up Derek’s shirt. “Shit, you’re bleeding everywhere, are you OK?” The frantic teenager asked. 

“Of course I’m OK, it wasn't a wolfsbane bullet,” Derek insisted. 

The Sheriff finally lowered his service weapon. “Yeah, uh. Sorry about that, Ha- Derek. Thought you were a home invader there for a second.” 

Stiles scoffed in disdain as he wiped blood off of Derek’s abs. “A home invader, Dad, really? Who the hell would be stupid enough to break into the Sheriff’s house?”

Derek decided to be helpful while the hole in his stomach closed up. “I hid in your bedroom when I was the most wanted fugitive in the state, Stiles.”

“You don’t get to talk, asshole. I can’t believe you tried to sneak in my room!” Stiles’ hands moved to his boyfriend’s lower back, feeling for an exit wound. “Dammit Derek, the bullet’s still in you! We’ve got to get you to the vet, now!”

“No we don’t Stiles, I’m just fine. No regular bullet is going to put me down, I’m the Alpha.”

“No, you’re the idiot- you can’t run around with a slug in your abdomen!” Stiles shoved the werewolf into his desk chair and hurried to put on the same pair of shoes Derek had tripped over. “I can’t believe you shot my boyfriend, Dad. Seriously, what if that had been Scott? You would feel totally guilty now- and get that pleased look off of your face right now or you aren’t eating real meat for a month.”

Derek was pulled back on his feet by his boyfriend and shoved towards the door. “Get moving wolf brain- Deaton’s going to have to open you back up and I’m not going to spend the whole night listening to you bluster about how tough you are.” The alpha decided to let his human push him around. He’d already showed how badass he was; Derek could let Stiles worry if it made him feel better.


End file.
